I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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