They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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