he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I have tasted many bathrooms
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
