Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
