Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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