Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize