i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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