she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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