just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
