why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
