"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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