Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
