Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
