the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
