it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I want you more than these girls want KFC
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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