She's JV to your varsity
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
her vagine was all disorganized.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
