and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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