The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
