The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
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