How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
