fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize