forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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