I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
