The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i think my tv is drunk
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
