I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
