I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
