Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
