is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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