no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize