she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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