do herpes really smell.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
