Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
