arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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