If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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