Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
