You really coming over, don't trick.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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