dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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