it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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