Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
