his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just cropdusted the office
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
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