guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize