my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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