So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
