3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
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