peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm too high and old for this...
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
