You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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