Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
