Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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