ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
