and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
