don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
