was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
tonight lets celebrate not being married
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
