Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
