watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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