You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
why is half of my head shaved?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
