she was so not down for the gang bang
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I need water and some morals
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
