shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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