i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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