Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
i think im in europe. pls send help
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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