Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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