So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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