you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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