He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize