can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
