now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
