Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We had sex on a dog bed..
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
