ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
