I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I am mentally ready for anal.
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