His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
