Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
