Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
