I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
