Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize