Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
